Coming out can be a scary thing. You don’t know how your family and friends will react. You might still be defining who you are, and it’s difficult to explain it to others when you aren’t entirely sure yourself. You might fear for your safety.
Unfortunately, sometimes people think they have the right to dictate how others handle things like coming out. I know of two people who were not emotionally ready to come out, and were afraid of the consequences. They talked to people they trusted, who told them if they were “really” gay or transgender, they would be open about it.
Both people came out. Not because they were ready, but because they felt pressured. They felt as if they had to prove themselves to others.
Both experienced very negative results, which I’d rather not detail.
No one has the right to tell you how to be a “real” ANYTHING. You are you, and you are who and what you are. Whatever that is, you are real. And you have the right to approach everything in your life in your own time, at your own pace, in the way that helps you feel safest and most comfortable.
Trust yourself, and don’t let others tell you how to be you.