The kiss took Brian by surprise, especially the intensity of it. Trista usually only kissed him like this at the end of their dates and sometimes not even then. She had made it clear that kissing was the only thing she planned to do with him, at least while they were still in high school, and she preferred to make sure they wouldn’t want to keep going.
This time, she didn’t seem inclined to stop. Neither did Brian, but he broke the kiss and stared at her. “What was that all about?”
“I can’t kiss my boyfriend?” She raised an eyebrow. “Sorry if that isn’t as good as Javier kisses.”
“You’re not Javier, and he isn’t you.” Brian pulled away from her and went to the fridge. “I don’t know what you want from me, Trista. Do you want to change things? Just tell me. I don’t want to, but I don’t want you upset and hating me either.”
“Did that kiss feel like I hate you?” She sat at the table. “I don’t know what I want, Brian. Well, yeah, I do. I want you to myself, the way it was before you met Javier. Maybe I’m being selfish. I don’t think so. I think you’re the selfish one.”
“I would be selfish if I told you and Javier that you could each only date me. I’ve never said that. Never.” He took a breath. His temper was rising and the last thing he wanted to do was get pissed off at Trista. She had a right to be upset if she didn’t like how things were going between them.
“No, you’ve been honest and told us we can see other people too. And yet neither of us usually does.”
“There isn’t anyone around here that Javier wants to date.” He paused. “I know other guys have asked you out.”
“And I told you, I don’t want to go out with any other guys.” Her voice sounded choked, and Brian realized she was close to crying. He hoped she wouldn’t. He was never sure how to deal with her when she cried. “I’m trying this date with Craig, but I really do feel like it’s only going to be a friends thing. Did you miss the part where I told you I’m in love with you? I know you aren’t in love with me, Brian. If you were, it wouldn’t even occur to you to date someone else. That doesn’t mean I have to like the way things are.”
“What do you want me to do?” he asked again.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Break up with one of us, I guess. Except I’m afraid that if you do, I’ll be the one you break up with, and I don’t want that. So I just don’t know.”